how to write a winning a doggerel poetry contest entry in fifteen minutes a day

I won the doggerel poetry contest for Mary and Brady's blogathon! I demolished the competition using a tried-and-true strategy:

1. Enter early. Like Presidential candidates who try to have high early fundraising totals partly to scare competitors out of entering--a tactic which actually worked in past election cycles--getting your intimidatingly awesome doggerel poem into the contest comments field early will give others pause before trying to compose their own entry.

2. Decide on a search term that fits the theme of the contest. For example, if the contest is part of a blogathon associated with libraries, choose the term "library."

3. Search your chat archives for chats that contain the term, e.g., "library."

4. Go through chat, retaining whatever lines seem like they would work in a doggerel poem and deleting those that do not. Some rearrangement is also permissible. Maybe tweak a word or two. Maybe not.

5. Send off your entry.

6. Await accolades.