i felt oppressed, unmotivated, restricted.
forced and preconditioned in the areas of politics, religion and morality.
originality and spontaneity were frowned upon, unless, of course, it pertained to christianity. but how can this be, when christianity asks only that you don't ask questions? faith is all it takes, so don't wonder about anything, ok kids?
no jeans, no T-shirts, no talking, are you wearing a belt? don't let your hair grow past your ears or the administrator will pull on it. don't sag your pants, otherwise the administrator will pick you up by your belt-loops.
fuck. i thought i was a christian. no, i believed it. and yet the questions never stopped popping into my head: what about people, say aborigines for instance, that have never heard of jesus? what about them? oh, well, god makes himself known through nature?
the mysteries of nature certainly do point to a higher power, i mean, i cant think of many civilizations that didn't question the existence of something greater than mankind, but come on! i don't hear the leaves telling me jesus died on a cross for my sins...there's only one book that says this, and questioning the sacred words of this book is more than forbidden.
well, teacher, what about babies that die shortly after birth? what about mentally impaired individuals. don't they get to see the majestic golden gates that lead to the holy city? my teachers called out a resounding "maybe". they pulled out a random "age of understanding" bullshit excuse. i don't recall jesus ever talking about an age of understanding, nor are those words in sequence anywhere in the bible?
do people really believe that the "holy unchanged texts" of the bible truly went unchanged for thousands of years? through the dark ages? perfectly translated into old english? i doubt it. i mean for god's sake, they took the bible away from the people for a thousand years...you don't think they changed anything? start thinking about these things, they can only do you good.
teacher, teacher! tell me, what of the years where jesus just wasn't there? years 13-30? you know, the years most influential in growth and maturity? why wasn't this part of jesus life recorded? perhaps he was off in a neighboring nation, learning the ways of the great buddha? i mean, come on; the correlations between jesus and the buddha are astounding, often exact. why wasn't i taught this?
why wasn't i taught about the hero complex? the fact that dozens of historical figures share similar characteristics with jesus? virgin birth, baptism, disciples, crucifixion, sons of god, resistance of the devil, the list goes on and on and on...
why wasn't i ever told that the jesus story was just one of hundreds of hero stories, all extremely similar? is it because the church wants my 10%? i say yes. if your church really wanted to help people, why wouldnt they give to the poor, rather than buy a $100,000 stereo projector system? i mean, aren't people starving to death more important than a bunch of conservative fucks all reading words off a big screen, singing koom-by-ah?
yet, no one attending my old high-school will ever learn of these things. the many holes and contradictions of corporate christianity. i don't hate jesus. i just hate the warmongers killing, stealing and corrupting in his name.
my name is jeanzy. i denounce the holy spirit.
i guess i'll see you in hell.
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