the three classic blunders, the first two i learned from the princess bride and the last i learned from angela

1. Never get involved in a land war in Asia!
2. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
3. If your voice has always been overrated and it isn't aging well, never say 'Help me somebody' and toss the mic to Patti LaBelle!


(fast forward to 1:38 into it [2:36 remaining], and then watch the next sixty seconds. don't watch more than that or else suddenly there's el debarge.)

A little like asking someone for help with an itch on your back you can't reach and having them rip out your spine with a scythe. Still itch? Higher? To the left?

Of course, the real showdown of the divas would be me and Miss Patti doing "Love Shack." I am not a stage presence to be trifled with, at least when I've got me a Chrysler that's as big as a whale.

Speaking of which, apparently Jerry Marwell did "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" (one of my standbys) at karaoke in Madison a few nights ago, and dedicated it to "Jeremy, who's no longer with us." This resulted in some confusion among the karaoke faithful about whether I was dead. (I'm not, although I have recently somehow screwed up my back.)

dear, you know you're still number one, but girls, they want to have fun

A dollar well spent is to go over to iTunes and buy Greg Laswell's cover of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun".* Laswell offers what I have been arguing for years via karaoke is the correct interpretation of the song: to be sung by a male, not a female, and to be sung sadly/ruefully/bitterly, not exuberantly. It's unclear from the recording, however, if he also steals my tactic of choosing an audience member at random to be the target of this rue.

Two other songs I downloaded from the same list: "Infinity" by Merrick, and an acoustic rendition of "Overkill" by Colin Hay. The latter is interesting for being recorded over twenty years after than the hit version by the same artist and being, perhaps inarguably, better. All these songs are of the mellow and easy-to-work-by variety.

* Via a list on the private blog of a certain friend; my ability to link to friend's blogs has been hindered in recent months by the rise of the private blog.