Collingwood admits captaincy was ruining his life

As Paul Collingwood stood on the balcony at Lord's on Sunday and applauded England's fourth successive one-day victory over South Africa, he could be forgiven for feeling some regret. It is a month to the day since the player informed the England and Wales Cricket Board of his decision to resign as captain of the side having suffered a "mentally draining" year in the role, but had he known the team were so close to hitting top form perhaps he would have hung on longer.

"No, absolutely not," said Collingwood yesterday. "I was going through a horrible patch in regards to my Test form and felt the captaincy was the main reason for that. It was draining me of the mental energy I needed to play at my best.

"It was a tough decision but having been dropped for a Test [the second against South Africa at Headingley], there was no other choice. I've been brought up in a generation where Test cricket is regarded as the ultimate form of the game and I wanted to remain part of that."

If Collingwood's return to the team for the third Test against South Africa at Edgbaston was any guide, his decision to relinquish the captaincy had an instant impact. He went into the match having made up his mind to quit - the announcement was made four days later - and made 135 in England's second innings, which was some return to form considering his previous two scores against the tourists were seven and four.

His form since has hardly been spectacular - he scored 61 and 25 not out in the final Test at The Oval and 14 in his single one-day innings this summer - but the player insists he is definitely feeling the benefits of no longer being in charge.

"I'm smiling more and have gone back to being the happy-go-lucky guy I was prior to becoming captain," he said. "My family are certainly seeing a different me, I'm no longer sitting in front of the television muttering about who should and shouldn't be in the team.

"That definitely got to me about the job - the way it is always there in the back of your mind. I'd been good at switching off but as captain I was always thinking about the game. I couldn't shut cricket out of my mind and that took it toll. You only had to see how Michael Vaughan reacted when announcing he was resigning as [Test] captain to know he felt the same way."

In Collingwood's case, it did not help that results were not going his way either. Having won series against India and Sri Lanka after taking on the role in June 2007, England lost home and away to New Zealand. The Durham man was also handed a four-match ban for the slow over-rate in the penultimate match of the home series against the Kiwis. Criticism followed which, Collingwood concedes, "hurt".

"You're always being judged as captain and as hard as you try not to read or listen to what people say, it eventually gets back to you," he said. "I tried to laugh everything off but it seeps through and hurts.

"But that is what being captain of the England cricket team is about. Along with being manager of the England football team it is the most scrutinised job a sportsman in this country can have."

That is something Kevin Pietersen will no doubt discover. The 28-year-old has enjoyed a blistering start to his reign and has not surprised Collingwood in the manner he has led the side - "He's a typical South African" were among the ways he described Pietersen - but the real challenges lie ahead, starting with November's series in India.

"That is always difficult because of the heat and conditions. India is an intense place and will test not just the side but also Kevin as captain," said Collingwood, who is supporting the Asda Kwik Cricket Scheme which is helping 130,000 UK primary school children become more healthy and active. "We drew 1-1 in 2006 but if we keep the momentum we've got going, anything can happen this year."

Prior to India, England also take part in the Stanford Super Series. The one-off contest against a Caribbean select XI has been described as a "farce" by the West Indies legend Michael Holding but those involved are clearly taking it seriously. Collingwood was one of eight players pulled out of county duty by the ECB yesterday so that the squad can stay fresh for the matches ahead, and considering there is close to £500,000 on offer to each winning player in the Caribbean it was no surprise they made little fuss about the decision.

"None of us have experienced playing for that type of money before, it's certainly going to pay for a couple of things," said Collingwood. "I don't know what I'd spend the money on, probably school fees."

Win or lose, he will undoubtedly play the match in upbeat mood. "I feel as fit as ever and definitely see myself playing in the Ashes next year," said the 32-year-old. "I am not even thinking about retiring. Cricket is my life and I couldn't imagine doing anything else."